ever since 23rd sept i can't sleep i dunno wat happened.
seriously.
i wanted to sleep,and i was tired but i couldn't
i just start worrying abt everything.
at nite i keep having this thought that my alarm clock won't ring n i'll be late for sch.
in the afternoon i'm afraid that i would wake up late and dun have time to finish my hmwk.
wat's wrong with me.....
i'm really really tired,but when i closed my eyes i just felt so insecure n it seems like my brain is still trying to sort out things.
last night went to bed at 12,dunno wat time i fell asleep
then i woke up at 4 cos i dreamt of ppl chasing after me n i was rolling here n there on my bed.
i dunno wat to do.i can't sleep...
am i feeling smth subconsciously?insecure?nervous?scared?
i don't know.
i really don't know.
i just felt that i'm tired.
it's like i want to give up on everything,yet i force myself to do it.
time passes by so quickly.
i remembered those days when i got into cchms last yr.
it's like...sec3 is so far away from us.
yet in a few mths time,we're all going to be sec3s.
soon will graduate,go jc,uni,blabla n die.
y did time pass by so fast this year.
it's alr september.
why....?
y do i feel that i've done nothing?
y do i feel so empty?
i'm feeling so hopeless this few days that i keep crying everytym i reach home.
all i know is that im alone.
just like how i always am.
nobody cared and nobody understands.
it's so hard to pretend that nothing happened.
i cared so much that i don't know what's the best i can do so that i won't take another wrong step and cause disturbance to people around me.
y did i choose to believe it initially?
...
i hate this place
i hate the school
i hate everyone around me.
everytime when i tried to do something there's always negative results.
everytime i let myself believe something,it will always turn out to be something that hurts me.
few mths ago,ppl asked me if i would hate
i said no,i will nvr do that.
now then i realise that i start to feel the hatred.
the hatred to myself for being so idiotic.
2 yrs ago i gave up.
2 yrs later i took up the courage to try to believe in it once more.
it's still the same.
i noe that this time it'll take me years to get over it.
but at least i'll nvr do the same thing in the future again.
because it already shattered all the confidence i had in myself.
try having parents like mine
try living a life like mine.
ha.
forget it.
my life is just made up of ended stories with no endings.
changed my blog song meihui said`你几白年没有放华文歌了咯`haha...
Triple Sci+ss+egeog
Mr Lim teach slower
Friday, September 25, 2009
@ 10:22 PM 
